At 52, I’d spent my life giving everything to my family, working three jobs to support my husband, daughter, and grandchild. I never questioned why my husband hadn’t worked in 20 years or why my daughter, now in her 30s, relied on me financially. In their eyes, I was just an ATM, and I’d become a shell of myself. One day at a café, teenagers mocked me as an “old nag.” Looking in the mirror, I realized I’d lost myself—and knew it was time for a change.
For a long time, Debra’s only purpose in life was to provide for her daughter Kayla, who married young and had a son, and her husband Austin, who found comfort on the couch of the living room, spending his days in front of the TV with the remote in one hand and his beer in the other.
He lost his job almost twenty years ago, and since his wife worked, he never tried finding another job. It somehow felt right to him Debra to remain the breadwinner.
But neither Kayla nor Austin ever noticed Debra turning into a neglected woman who never did anything for herself. All she ever did was spend her money on Kayla’s allowance and her husband’s needs. Getting used to her mother’s money, Kayla never bothered to seek employment.
Debra was taken for granted for too long, without realizing that. But then, one day, something happened that forced her to turn her life around.
While waiting for her coffee at Starbucks, thinking of the job that made her miserable, a group of teenagers pushed her and cut in front of her. The cashier didn’t object but took the youngsters’ orders. When Debra objected, they started laughing at her, calling her names such as a “pensioner that had nowhere to be,” and “old nag.”
Crushed, she took her coffee and entered her car. Inside, she saw her self in the mirror and realized she had been neglecting herself for too long. She barely recognized herself. She looked exhausted, with gray creeping into her hair and lines she didn’t remember forming on her face. Suddenly, it hit her – the decades of caring for others had come at the expense of her own well-being.
That experience was a turning point for Debra. Instead of going to work, she visited the nearest salon and had her hair cut and dyed. She them treated herself with new clothes, including a couple of fancy dresses.